We have our oldest son who is a deputy sheriff and his wife who is a Spanish teacher, just called us and told us that we are going to be grandpa and grandma!!!!!
I’m too young and good looking to be a grandpa, of course, the, ” to be grandma,” is so excited she dropped her false teeth, into her vat of rubbin cream that sits next to her girdle (that cream helps her slide into the girdle!) she bent over to fetch her teeth, but slipped off her by the bed commode, (bathroom too far)
Hurt her hip, jumped up and yelled hallelujah, but shouting caused her wig to fall over her eyes, blind and slippery, she fell out the window onto the dog, who ran across burning leaves and started the house on fire!!!
But praise the Lord anyhow, homeless, no teeth and girdle less, we’re goin to be grandparents!!!!
I got to admit I was a little confused at first, my daughter in law (whom I love) (ps. to kill at times!!!) She put my face on a I LOVE OBAMA POSTER ONE TIME!! She’ll pay big someday!!
Anyhow, she told me that I was going to be a grandpa, but then she said, they were goin to adopt Michael Jacksons kids!! (She’s such a liar, they don’t even know Michael)
I was confused which happens allot at my aged years, I didn’t know if she was pregnant or going to adopt? But finally, she calmed me down and said yes, they were going to have a baby.
Not that I’m against them adopting Michael Jacksons kids, but I fear they might be as weird as Michael was.
Of course everyone is excited, our daughter, who is in college, is going to be an Auntie! Auntie Steph, sounds kind of like something you would have to put on after you cut yourself! HEE HEE HEEE
I’m a party all by myself
You see, this is what I’m worried about, a grandchild around me? I can be off in la la land, and my dear grandchild could be swimming with sharks!! I guess they’ll never let me watch em huh.
Becoming a grandpa, man, I never thought that day would come, but then again, my knee hurts right now, so I must be old enough to bounce a baby on it, because the pain would be grandpa like!
I wondered what kind of grandpa would I be?
I never let my kids get away with nothing, we would correct them, hold them responsible for everything, but a grandchild, who cares.
I can turn him into a total brat, a nightmare, and then laugh my behind off as I watch my kids haul him home bouncing off the car door!!!
I can just picture the mean sneers I would get from my kids, as they try to hold their kid inside of a car that he wants out of and to be with grandpa, who will let him run WILD!!!
And I can wave and smile as they drive away, and think to myself, payback, for that OBAMA PICTURE!!!
The more I think about it, maybe I would make a great grandpa, I can teach him how to change his own diaper, paint on his parents walls, hide somewhere good and then watch his parents go nuts looking for him! How to make 911 calls to a different address, how to make a slip and slide out of butter in their kitchen, how to stop up the toilet, and how to drive a car, and most importantly, how to get a tattoo, all before the age of 5!
Yeah, this grandpa stuff is sounding better!!!
And it doesn’t matter if its a boy or girl, their brains are nothing more than a bowl of jelly and I can mold it into a genius of my making!!!
If you think about it, grandpas are the best, we have all this wisdom bottled up in our heads, and we’re just dying to pass it on to someone who doesn’t know that we’re just rambling on about nothing.
Thats the great thing about grandpas, they don’t have to be a dad, thats my sons job, I can just love em, spoil him and send him home, TO WRECK HAVOC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH GO GRANDPAS!!!!!!! and grandmas, you bake cookies, for us guys to eat!
Becoming grandparents, my kids might want to rethink it.